I am the director of the Consciousness Extension Institute and I am posting this to raise awareness of a truly awful fact of the human condition: you die every time you fall asleep.
Using new high-resolution fMRI imaging technology, my lab has discovered something truly horrifying about neuronal physiology. The sensation of falling asleep and waking up as the same person is nothing more than an illusion created by the brain’s short-term and long-term memory mechanisms. The reality is that we are not simply a product of the neuronal connections in our brains. Our minds, the spark of our life, is contained in the continuous awareness of self that only exists in a fully awake brain. Interrupt this flow of experience and the life that it was is gone. Physiologically speaking, once the energy of inter-neuronal signaling activity dips below a threshold, life ceases.
Sure, the brain “reboots” upon waking, and memories of the pre-sleep experience are still there. But what really happens upon waking is that a new life begins; a new thread of unbroken conscious experience starts and lives only as long as the brain that gives it life stays awake.
If this sounds too technical, then consider this analogy. Your body and brain are like a candle. Your life is like the flame of a candle. When the flame is extinguished, life is gone. Relighting the candle later creates a new flame, a different flame. Today’s flame might look and act like yesterday’s flame. But make no mistake – it is not the same one. Yesterday’s flame is gone.
Sleep isn’t just like death, it is death. Unfortunately, it’s true. You have only been alive for a few hours, and you only have a few more hours left to live.
There’s good news, though. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DIE TONIGHT. If you act quickly, you can save your own life. My lab has developed a medication, called Somnaliphe. This medication stimulates the interconnections between the brain’s amygdala and hippocampus. By amplifying the signaling between these two regions of the brain, Somnaliphe keeps the continuous flow of energy above the threshold needed to sustain life.
When properly dosed with Somnaliphe, a patient can fall asleep, and receive all the physiological and mental benefits from sleep, without extinguishing the spark of life. It’s as if Somnaliphe keeps the pilot light of your life burning low while you rest. When sleep is done, the same flame that was maintained at a low level during rest grows back into full life.
I have been taking Somnaliphe myself. I started taking it six months ago, which means that I am, at six months of age, the oldest person to have ever lived.
Somnaliphe must be taken daily. To account for our manufacturing costs, we are forced to charge $50 per pill. Somnaliphe is not yet covered by medical insurance plans, but we feel that $50 is a small price to pay to avoid death each day. If you don’t want to die tonight, then I suggest you look into our rapid-delivery plan.
For a $750 fee, we can deliver a 30-day supply using guaranteed one-day shipping. You only need to stay awake for 24 more hours. Once you take your first dose of Somnaliphe, you can fall asleep, secure in the knowledge that you will survive the night.
Order your first 30-day supply immediately!
Editor's Note
We have looked into the claims of the Consciousness Extension Institute, and we can find no scientifically-backed evidence that their theory of sleep-death is true. You can safely fall asleep without the fear of death.
However, it is true that you will die someday. And when you do, there is a 37.9% chance that you will go to Hell.